Rating: R
Warnings: Adult themes, Character death
Summary: Rodney is human like everybody else.
AN: I started this weekend wanting to do something fluffy. Then I read "The Other Side Of Silence" by lemonbella on livejournal, along with the comments, and it got me thinking. Well. Exit fluffy stage left.
Basics
One of the most basic human character traits was the need for revenge, Rodney thought, staring at the device in his hands. You could plaster it with civilization, hide it under a wallpaper of DOs and DON'Ts, and put up a few pictures of smiles and forgiveness for good measure, but in a single horrible moment, all of that could be stripped away, leaving behind the raw granite of hatred and instinct.
His single horrible moment had been a white flash of light that had made his eyes water, the heavy impact of a body pushing him to the ground, curling around him protectively, before wave after wave of a loud, grating noise had come crashing down on them until he thought he would go insane. The body draped over him had jerked, once, pressing him into the dry earth.
It was only after the noise had died that he had noticed the wetness spreading over his back, the stillness of the man above him.
"John?" he had asked, a sick feeling settling in his stomach, but naturally, he hadn't gotten an answer, because dead people didn't tend to talk all that much.
Ten minutes of desperate CPR and the frantic call for medical assistance later, Carson had worked a miracle and had gotten that stubborn heart to beat again. And there had been one wonderful, carefree moment when all Rodney had felt was giddy relief. Two words had gotten rid of that forever.
Brain damage.
While Carson had still explained how it had been too late for them to help, how John's brain had been too long without oxygen, why he couldn't do anything, Rodney had gotten up and left the room. He didn't want to think about the man who would spend the rest of his life hooked up to machines, lying in a coma he would never wake from. He wanted to think about different planets and alien people who welcomed their guests with a friendly smile and then turned to kill them with casual indifference.
And when he had found the device, had looked it up in the Ancient database, had read what it could do, he had thought about weapons of mass destruction, the probable effects of an energy overload, and the blue lips of his friend, slightly parted in a field of dust and debris and blood. About death. Then he had very quietly overridden the controls of the Stargate, stolen a naquadah generator, taken a jumper, and left without as much as a goodbye.
One of the most basic human character traits was the need for revenge, Rodney thought, staring at the device in his hands. He took the memory of one night, one single night spent in a frenzy of touch and reassurance after they both had thought they were going to die, caressed it lovingly, and then carefully put it aside. Some things made you human, others didn't.
He pushed the button.